El Toreo - Memories

For a while now I've been thinking about all my random memories I've had from the past. Most of them have never been written down so I'm finally going to take the time to do so.
The other day I find out one of my closest friends, Damien, will be heading to Guam with his wife and little girl to be stationed while they serve in the U.S. Air Force. For years Damien and I made a habit of going to a small mexican restaraunt called El Toreo. It started as early as 8th grade and we went as often as possible until life caused us to move on. All through high school we would go and most always order our meals from the back of the menu where all of the A La Carte items were. Between the 2 of us we could spend less than five dollars and have a great meal. We would also always ask for them to bring out extra lemons, why you may ask? Well to make lemonade of course! After a while the waiter new us and would just bring out the lemons whenever he saw us walk in. They would also bring out delicious fresh chips and salsa. It was normal for us to go through two or three baskets of chips. Damien always asked for them to bring out mild salsa because the regular salsa was too hot for him. I would always tease him about this but in reality I really liked the mild salsa, I felt it had more flavor. To this day I appreciate those good times we had. The food was great, but more important than how it tasted was the good times we had there. Occasionally we had other friends join us. Probably the funniest time with someone else coming was when Damien's brother Donovan came along. All he seemed to care about was launching little bits of paper off his spoon. Luckily there was no one else there at the time...

While serving my mission in Virginia finding good mexican food was a huge challenge, its just not the same as in California. I was really starting to miss it. Then I was transferred to the Chesapeake Area and was introduced to a restaraunt called El Toro Loco. It was like a piece of home and a reminder of all the times we went to El Toreo. Almost every time we went to El Toro Loco I would order the Burrito Jalisco! It was amazing! Just finishing it in one sitting was an achievement on its own.

So now back to El Toreo and more importantly memories. Sometimes we forget about the simple good times we have had. Damien has been an incredible friend, I could go on and on about random funny memories we've had together, and in time I probably will, I am very excited for the adventure he and his little family will be taking in the near future. They are not leaving until near the end of this year, but because of life and responsibilities we have it is not certain whether we will be able to meet up before they leave. Whether we are able to or not its okay. I was gone for 2 years and when I got home we were no less friends than before. If anything we have become better friends. El Toreo was in many ways just a small whole in the wall mexican restaraunt, but for me it will always be a wonderful memory with one of the best people I know.

Be the Difference our society needs

I realize I am not speaking of everyone, and in some ways this is simply me venting, so even though as I write I say “we” it does not mean I am speaking of you, I say “we” as our society as a whole.

From the majority of my observations over the past year or so this is sadly what I have seen. We, as a people, LOVE to complain and critic our society, or surroundings, if something doesn’t seem right we will gladly start complaining about how stupid other people are and how they should be doing whatever it is in some other way. It is really sad. We speak out of 90% ignorance, we only see how we personally are affected. It is completely selfish. Yes, society is not perfect, but really? The more we complain the more we contribute to the problems. If you have a legitimate desire and want to help fix an issue, DO something about it, complaining only brings negative attitudes and less support to our communities. We love to complain and talk about how Cops are always out to get us, or how they are always doing stupid stuff. Well what if we didn’t have any sort of police force? Yes, they are far from perfect, but no one on earth is perfect. If I am speeding and get pulled over its not the cop being a jerk, I was speeding, it’s called personal accountability, it’s that simple. Now the fact is I have not been impressed with the few times I have had conversations with a member of the police force, and I really wish I had done something about it, even if it was simply putting in a formal complaint about the way I was treated. It’s not that I felt it was unfair because of what had happened, but what upset me was the way they treated me, it was as though I was a four year old completely ignorant kid.

Nearly all of us, in our own ways contribute to the degradation of society. Whether its sticking our chewed gum somewhere other than a trash can, having a party so late into the night (early into the morning) that’s so loud that you cause many of the people living around you to become frustrated with our complete lack of consideration for them, or stealing small candies or other items that cause prices overall to increase. The fact is simply by living life these things tend to happen, sometimes we don’t even realize what we are doing is wrong. The real question is whether we are doing more to contribute and build up our surroundings or break it down. Obviously for the most part there are few people in our societies that are committing awful crimes, but if we all as a whole put more effort into following the system that we do have, things would be much better.

We can complain as much as we want about how pathetic our government is and how much they take advantage of us, but that will not change a single thing without action. I am not sitting in Washington DC and I really don’t follow politics enough to know much, but the fact is we live in a democratic society and whether we want to admit it or not, we, if we worked together, and truly wanted this change, we could see it happen. I can’t say I think paying taxes is the first thing I want to do with my money, but the fact is so many people find pathetic ways to get out of paying taxes and/or take complete advantage of welfare programs. Is it unfair? It certainly is, but I know if I have the attitude of expecting everything to be equal I will only contribute to our failing economy. We complain about a society that is falling apart, yet we gladly look past the ways that we are contributing to its downfall. We desire to live in a world with no personal stewardship or responsibility, essentially living as a small baby having others take care of us.

The fact is there will always be those that take advantage and seem to sail through life without making much effort at all. They are hindering themselves in so many ways they will only understand when it is too late, and sadly they make life harder for those who are striving to live in a way that will strengthen society. Life isn’t fair, but the beautiful thing is those people that strive to constantly contribute to a better society and sometimes sacrifice a personal ideal for the betterment of a society will gain benefits they may not see for years and years, maybe not even in this life, but those benefits will come.

So stand for something greater, be one of the few who really does what is needed to see society prosper. Be personally accountable, and see the inner strength and lessons that you will learn as you do so.

What we are VS. What we can become

 "The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become.” -Ben Herbster
On May 6th, 1954
In Oxford, England, 25-year-old medical student Roger Bannister was determined to do the impossible. For years, many athletes had tried and failed to run a mile in less than four minutes that people made it out to be a physical impossibility. Roger Bannister, who was running for the Amateur Athletic Association against his alma mater, Oxford University, won the mile race with a time of 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds. He had done what nearly everyone else said could not be done. How? He had a goal and reached out to grab his potential. Once he had done it, others followed. He had broken the bonds humanity put on themselves.
When the Original Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) was released in the 1980s many of the technological geniuses stated that they had reached the potential that could be had in that field of entertainment. Luckily there were also those that disagreed with that statement.

“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” -Brian Tracy

There are two types of potential we can discuss. The first relates to the dreams and successes we wish to achieve in this life, with this potential the unfortunate fact is not everyone will accomplish every dream they have. Please do not let this statement hinder you from trying, but that is simple fact. The personal growth and potential that can be ours is an entirely different story, this is a portion of our life we have much more control over. Some of the greatest examples I know in life live in very meager ways, but i honor and respect them because they understand what really matters most in this life.

We have such incredible potential as human beings. Yet we limit ourselves in so many ways. For some people they simply do not care. For others the reality and possibility of failure hinders them from even trying. Personally I have no desire to try and run a 4 minute mile. The fact is for me long distance running has always been a challenge, but just recently i have set a goal to be capable of running 3 miles in under 25 minutes. Too much of the running world this may not seem like anything spectacular, but that is MY goal, it is one that is surrounded by many other goals.
The potential I desperately seek to fulfill is my potential as a good father and husband, as a good example to my peers and those i come in contact with, as an individual people know they can turn to in a time of need. I want to be the best example i can for my future children, if I have something i need to stop doing to achieve this goal I am more than willing to do it. If I expect my children to be living a certain way i have no right at all to be living different standards. I know to become this person i must be willing to sacrifice things that i may think I need, or that seem important, and I am okay with that. I fight for the greater good, especially since i know by striving to fulfill these goals for the sake of others; I myself am being refined into an individual that was much better than where i started.

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.” -Liane Cordes
We do not have to be the strongest or smartest to reach our potential. We are all different people, our goals and desires will be different. It comes down to the dedication we put into achieving our goals and desires. Unless I have the desire to do it, I’m not going to. That desire may come from personal want, it may come from my fiancés encouragement, or maybe the council of another person that I respect and trust.

“Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.” -Marilyn Ferguson
The beauty of this life is change. We do not have to be constantly weighed down by mistakes of the past. We have the opportunity and ability to abandon those things that cause us feeling of regret. Just remember the future starts with actions that we make today.

"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!" -Anne Frank

“Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.” -Richard Bach
At times we tend to convince ourselves of the idea that "this is just how I am, and it's not going to change." It's not that we are necessarily doing something bad, but is it really what we know will bring us the greatest happiness? I have said it before and I’ll state it many more times, I am a stubborn individual in many ways, but I also know that change can be the greatest thing. I am stubborn, but I do all I can to heed the counsel and advice of those people that I know will lead me in the right direction. I know I am meant to become much more then I now am, and if I am to reach that potential I must be willing to make the changes I know I need to. This life is a journey, I would never expect to change overnight, but I do know that I must take the steps to make the change happen. If i coast my way through life simply accepting what I am and where I am at, I will never make it.

"Who are we? We are children of God. Our potential is unlimited. Our inheritance is sacred. May we always honor that heritage — in every thought and deed." -Russell M. Nelson

Our Greatest Strength

Each of us has the potential to be incredible in our own way; we all have things we are good at and things that push us in life. There are things that just come naturally to us and some things that almost seem impossible for us yet others seem to accomplish them with ease. An example for me is art, I am awful. I cannot seem to even draw a stick figure, but I have some of my closest friends who are INCREDIBLE artists. Is it fair that they have those strengths and I don't? Yes it is completely fair, first off, they have put much more time and effort into refining those skills, and also I have strengths that they may not have.

These strengths and weaknesses play a key role in our lives, but they are not what I refer to as our greatest strength. I speak in context of a world of obedience, virtue, and good living. We all have things that we know are not good for us, yet they seem very hard for us to avoid. These can simply be called our struggles. In the same respect there may be temptations in life that have little or no influence over us. One person may never have the temptation to lie, no matter how uneasy, awkward, or self incriminating the situation may be, however that same person may struggle with stealing. Nothing huge, but maybe they are at a grocery store and see a candy bar they like, it feels so easy to slip it into their pocket, deep down they know its wrong, but it is very hard for them to avoid making the action. This individual does have a strength in the fact that they do not lie, but I would say that if they have the ability to control them self and keep from stealing, that is a much greater strength. The hardest things for us in life are what need our greatest attention and take the most out of us to overcome. Look at a drug addict who is striving to overcome their addiction, it is incredibly difficult and almost always requires the help of the people around them. Is this a weakness? The drug addiction is a weakness, but if they are striving to overcome that weakness that shows incredible strength and personal desire to become their best. Each and every one of us will make mistakes in life, some big and some little. It is very easy for us to judge others when their weakness may be something that we find very easy, but we HAVE to realize we are different people. Being willing to understand the people around us is essential for a strong relationship.

What is our greatest strength? I would say it is our ability to overcome our weaknesses. Will this happen overnight? Of course not, if it did it would be easy. Are we going to slip? It is a possibility, but with consistent effort and a constant desire to avoid whatever it may be we can turn that weakness into something that will only tempt us on occasion, and with the strength we have refined, that temptation will not come out victorious.

All the water in the world

"All the water in the world, however hard it tried.
Can never sink the smallest ship, unless it gets inside.
All the evil in the world, the darkest kind of sin,
Can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in."

I was given this little poem in my Sunday School class when I was 15 or 16, by my teacher Brother Ostrowski. He told us to keep it with us all the time. 7 years later I can proudly say that I have done just that. It has had a special place in my wallet ever since that day.

No one is perfect, but whether we admit it or not, we all have a sense of knowing between what is right and what is wrong. To many people this intuitive sixth sense is called our conscience, to many Christians it is known as the Light of Christ. This helps us determine the choices we should make, but as humans we are stubborn and don't always want to pay attention to this "sixth sense." We think we know better and that we will be okay, the opposite choice even seems to be the more fun of the decisions we could make.
"Quite often, the right choice, and the most difficult choice to make, are one in the same."
There is joy, peace, and safety to be found in following the conscience we possess. We will reach our greatest potential and grow in ways we may never have thought possible. And the greatest thing is the fact that the more we follow The Light of Christ the more promptings we will receive, and more refined this sixth sense will become.
Try it out for a few days. Whenever a decision is placed before you, stop for a minute and think about what you should really do in this situation, seek the advice of our God through a little prayer in your heart. I can promise you, the more effort and practice you put into refining your conscience the greater happiness and peace you will find in life.
"There are many paths, remember that you alone choose the path on which you walk."

Standing United

"United we stand, Divided we fall"

In a romantic way, but also simply as friends and family we must stand together and support one another. There are too many challenges and struggles that we face to try and carry our entire weight as one person. Each of us have special qualities and gifts that we can use to help others who may need extra strength in that area of life, and those individuals may hold strengths that we can be uplifted by. We must let others help us, I know personally I can be very stubborn at times, but I am really working on opening myself up to the help and support of the people that I consider closest to me.

"I won't give up" by Jana Kramer
I will be by your side
If ever you fall deep in the dead of the night
Whenever you call
And I won’t change my mind
No, I’ll see you through
And I won’t give up
No, I won’t give up
I won’t give up on you

The more time and effort we put into serving and stregthening the people around us the happier we will be. Don't believe me? Try it out.
My fiance told me about a book she read that talks about "The 17 second miracle" long story short, we can change someones day/life by only devoting 17 seconds of our time to them. It could be a simple conversation, holding the door open for the person behind us that is obviously in a rush, or even a smile and hello to someone you can tell is not having a good day, and then there are the times that the way we can help is by doing nothing at all. There are times when I want so badly to try and comfort or communicate with someone I care deeply for, but I have to restrain myself because I know that what they really need is space and quiet time.
Sometimes we give up an event or a period of our personal time to help someone else or offer service in another way. Find the sweet satisfaction in this personal sacrifice. If it is done with a bad attitude complaining the whole time, you will miss out on a great experience.

"Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I appreciate the people in my life who have given me this added measure of strength, I know I would not be here today without them.

The One

Any of you that have read my blog before will know that i rarely talk about my personal life. Sometimes i tell a random story but that's about it. Today is different. I want to let everyone know about that one special little lady that has changed my world in so many ways.
I met her for the first time the end of last August or beginning of September 2010. Over time we became friends and built up a strong relationship. She was special, there was something very unique and at first i couldnt really explain it. Then as time continued and some specific actions were made, we grew closer and closer. Her name is Holly and I love her more than anything. She is my everything for multiple reasons. She loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I know she is going to be a great mother, she has a great sense of humor, she makes me smile all the time, she is beautiful inside and out. I could go on and on, and in time i probably will, but for now i simply wanted to express that love for her. She completes me.
We are going to be married and sealed for time and all eternity on August 6th 2011 in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple, and i have never been happier or felt so right about something in my life. We are not perfect but we know what we want and together we will accomplish those goals.
I love you Holly!